Couples Therapy

The Lucille Ball Comedy Festival presented its second evening of stand-up comedy to an even larger audience at the Reg Lenna Center for the Arts than for evening number one, yet with only half as many comics.

Comic Tom Cotter, known for being first runner-up on Season Seven of ”America’s Got Talent,” and for multiple appearances on many different network television shows, was the headliner for the evening. His opening act was his wife, pretty Kerri Louise.

Louise spent her time on stage mostly talking about being a mother of three. She began by asking her audience whether it isn’t true, the men in the audience are looking at the women, while the women are looking at each other, and making excuses why others are younger-looking, slimmer, etc. She pointed out that Journey Gunderson, administrator of the Lucy-Desi Museum is young blonde, and slim, and promised that she would be watching out for her, to bring her down, after the show.

The comic claimed she would like to be a man, because men don’t care how other men look, and they don’t care that much about how they look, while women fuss over every element of their appearance. She claimed that women tell their friends everything, and warned men that their wives’ friends know all about ”it,” and their mothers-in-law know even more.

”I have to say, though, I got married for the right reason – health insurance,” she said.

There were jokes about having three sons, and wanting to be the ”yummy mummy” among her sons’ friends. ”If my sons get to their teens, and call their friends to report their parents are going away, so they’re having a party, I want them to hear that if I’m not going be be there, the friends aren’t coming over,” she said.

She reported that her grandmother spends all her time in the backyard, because that’s where they buried her, and admitted that she suffers from dyslexia. ”Grandma choked on her food, and I desperately dialed 1-1-9. Sorry Grandma,” she said.

Cotter emerged, the claim that he and Louise are happily married, because they have learned that a successful marriage involves a lot of give and take. ”She gives me grief,” he said, ”And I have to take it.”

”We’ve been married for 10 wonderful years,” he went on, ”Thirteen total.”

”When we were dating, I always opened the car door for her, and I still do that,” he said. ”Of course, then I was helping her inside. Now it’s when we’re doing 70 miles per hour, and I’m trying to push her out.”

The comic was born in Buffalo, but he said he now lives in New York City, because he loves the smell of pee. He talked about the discomfort of flying, and described how first-class passengers get to board the plane first, and recline in their giant seats with their hot towels on their faces, after which the economy class passengers do their poverty parade back to fight over small overhead bins and their cramped little folding chairs.

Other topics ranged from growing up as the youngest of six children, to why the spot on the elbow is called a ”funny bone,” when it’s anything but funny, to women he used to date. ”I was crazy about my first girlfriend, but she dumped me, so I had to put her behind me. And, then I backed up,” he reported.

He described how certain voices on the GPS system in his car seem to take on sinister qualities as he drives, and bemoaned the violence and cruelty in literature and poetry which are written for children. ”Who puts a baby in a cradle up in a treetop?” he demanded. ”Everybody knows that ‘Ring around the Rosy’ refers to people dying of the black plague.”

After five or six more examples, he looked stumped and asked who writes that stuff, and what do they really have in mind. ”Sleep tight. Don’t let the bedbugs bite,” he said, then suggested that the familiar good night speech left the child waiting to be devoured by insects.

He ended by regretting the fact that so many young women are getting tattoos. ”It may be a beautiful butterfly when she’s 19, ” he said, ”But in 30 years, it’s going to look like a moth that’s been smashed into a windshield.”

The remaining big feature comedy show of the festival will be the performance this evening at the Jamestown Savings Bank Arena, headlined by “Late Night” comedy figure Jay Leno.