The Simple Truth

Truth. This is one of those interminable subjects. Many well-known sayings have brought definition to the concept. For example, ”Truth is but a shattered mirror and each myriad bit is the whole.” Or this one specific to special relationships … ”There are three truths: mine, yours and the real truth.” Sorry if I misquoted, folks. Let’s focus some attention to truth in relationships. First, what’s the polar opposite of truth since conflicts arise directly suggesting or even implying doubt to truth telling? Lying! How many of us have either accused someone of lying or been accused of such ourselves? Covering many generations we’ve experienced parents who’ll say to their children something like this: ”Don’t lie to me, tell me the truth.” The child may be shaking, filled with anxiety. Then the parents add, ”If you lie, you’ll be in deep trouble, if you tell the truth … (Fill in the blank, folks). Now, the child is faced with an amazing valuable life lesson. Naturally, we learn many from home, our roots.

So, the child is in the throes of a dilemma. He/she has to gauge and quickly assess between benefit and liability. What are the ramifications of telling the truth (full or part) versus withholding the truth and sticking to the lie. Frankly, some people are good at both. We’ve probably all known folks who no matter what speak the truth even if hurtful consequences follow. And, yes, we’ve probably known someone who is viewed as a chronic liar. Some are so good at it that they missed their calling as an actor.

Herein we are faced as children with an important life lesson. No matter what position we take, truth versus lying, it becomes incorporated and assimilated in our foundation of spirit. No black and white here, no absolutes. Nevertheless, many children who utilize lying as a defense mechanism bring that tool into adulthood. You can only imagine how it plays into intimate relationships or even workplace relationship. The chronic liars sometimes get caught by others, sometimes forgiven, sometimes percolating into serious conflict.

Truth frequently becomes one of the measures of trust in all types of relationships. Loss of trust no matter the set of circumstances can wound a relationship’s trust factor. Though healing can take place, the perpetrator needs to accept full responsibility for his (her) actions. Counseling the individual can help (her) to decide upon continuing with the familiar, or introducing and reintegrating to the psyche the concept of truth telling. Time and patience are essential for the latter to take place. For the former chronic relationship conflicts are concomitant repercussions. You decide. Best of health. Be well.